Setting: The interview takes place in the basement of Schlitz Brewery. Count Drunkula's Springtime Home.

Simon Belmont: What is your connection with the Halloween hooligans of Eerie Ln.?

Count Drunkula: I've been Gruesome and company's drinking partner and friend for quite some time now. I used to dress up like the Devil and poke them and their fans in the ass with a pitchfork on stage!

S.B.: How long hav you known this infamous crew of cretins?

C.D.: I think I met them in late '94...maybe mid '95? About 6 years anyways! Beer blurs the memory!

S.B.: What was you initial impression of them as people and as a band?

C.D.: I always remember HellHound flicking a lit cigarette at my exposed ass on the night I met them! (laughter) They're cooky freaks! Always have been and probably always will be! Quick to joke! Quick to laugh! And to drink! Definatly bad melons! I mean pumpkins! (laughter) The first time I saw them play as Eerie Ln. was in '95 sometime. I just couldn't get over how much they improved from their previous band, the Unholy.

S.B.: What sound do you think they are aiming for?

C.D.: I feel like they were shooting for a Misfits, White Zombie hybrid of horror rock. I thought they were doing it pretty well.

S.B.: Who was the line up at that time?

C.D.: Gruesome and HellHound of course. Von Creepy and Pumpkinhead on bass.

S.B: How do you feel about allof their line up changes?

C.D.: Some of the previous members were very psychotic! (laughter) Borderline schizos! (much laughter) So, I'm pretty sure it's better they're gone.

S.B.: What do you think about the current line up?

C.D.: It's definatly the most solid and talented Eerei Ln. ever! And it shows in their new songs and their stage performance! Kayden is amazing! And the horror samples Evil Lind is adding are setting up a much more professional sound!

S.B.: Where do you think the band is heading soundwise?

C.D.: It's a lot heavier! Kayden is a much heavier bass player and his style is reflecting in their new material! It's more Season of the Witch and Mr.Phantasm then say something like Dead Kids in Black or Skull 'O Mania. Gruesome tends to construct the songs, no matter what the style or speed is, to maintain the Eerie Ln. vibe and fun.

S.B.: So far what are you favorite songs?

C.D.: From "Ramma Lamma Kill, Kill" it would have to be Machine Girl! Cool song! On, "Nice Planet..." I have to go with the instrumental intro to the Unnatural! "Tenthiryone" would definatly be the Bite and Creepy Crawl. Off of "Voodoo Music Box" Season of the Witch rips it up! They're at the top of their game!

S.B: What is the most memorable time you've spent with Eerie Ln.?

C.D: Probably the time their old bassist Wicked Shivers fell off the top of the Water Gardens in downtown Ft. Worth looking at some girls titties and broke both of his ankles! We drove him back to his dad's house, let him out on the curb and drove off as he craw;ed to the door! (much laughter) They had just recorded "Tenthirtyone" with him and he had to play his first show with them at Cafe Cybre in Euless the next week on crutches!

S.B.: Ouch! What do you ghouls do for fun when they're not playing a show?

C.D.: Drinking is usually involved! Creating mayhem and mischief! Stuff at other peoples expense! Stupid shit like getting tanked on cheap beer and going through the drive through at McDonalds and ordering McDoodoo Burgers with Hair Pies! (laughter) We used to hang out in the Glade a lot! It was a patch of woods in Keller, Tx down the street from where their olg guitarist Goredog lives! Drink and set huge bonfirs while listening to Samhain or Sabbath on an old jam box! Sadly the Glade was recently destroyed to build more houses! We like to destroy other people's houses on drinking bingess! (laughter) Food fights are fun when fuled by Schlitz and Mohawk Vodka! Trick or treating out of season is good for shits and giggles!

S.B.: Do you have any advise for anyone going to an Eerie Ln. show?

C.D.: Don't poke at Gruesome with sharp objects! It could prove fatal for you! And definatly don't taunt Von Creepy with Taco Bell! That boy loves his 7 layer burritos and double decker tacos! (much laughter)

S.B.: In closing is there anything you'd like to add?

C.D.: If you should see me at an Eerie Ln. show give me a beer! Lots and lots of beautiful beer! And if you're female and you meet my misguided little buddy Crazy Dave, show a little compasion for your fellow human and screw him! He's a 30 year old virgin! Got to go now! I'm over due for my beer bath!

S.B.: We here at eerieln.com hope that this interview with the esteemed Count Drunkula has proved inforamtive and shed a little light on the mystery shrouded lives of of the cooky freaks of Eerie Ln. Happy Hauntings fellow boos and ghouls. And please take scare.